Step Brothers is a legendary comedy that gave us some of the most hilarious, ridiculous, and unforgettable quotes in movie history. Starring Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly, this cult classic is packed with laugh-out-loud moments, awkward sibling rivalry, and some of the best one-liners ever.
If you love this movie, you’re in the right place! We’ve gathered 110+ of the best Step Brothers quotes—from funny insults to iconic one-liners—so you can relive the magic of Brennan and Dale’s wild adventures!
Step Brothers quotes

“Wait… did we just become best friends?” — Brennan
“From now on, you have to call me Dragon.” — Brennan
“Look at all this space—we can do so many activities!” — Dale
“This house is a total prison! On a planet of nonsense! In the galaxy of this is the worst!” — Dale
“I’m not calling him Dad… not even if the house is on fire!” — Brennan

“I still can’t stand you, but I’ll admit, your collection of nudie magazines is pretty impressive.” —Brennan
“I’m Dale, but from now on, you’ll address me as Nighthawk.” —Dale
“I swear, I’m so mad at my mom. The second she’s old enough, I’m shipping her off to a retirement home.” —Brennan
“That’s hilarious—last time I heard that, I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur.” —Dale
“Boats and hoes!” —Brennan and Dale
Step Brothers movie quotes

“I’m gonna stuff a pillowcase with bars of soap and knock the s* out of you!” —Brennan
“You’re waking the neighbors! Keep it down!” —Nancy
“Dad, we’re men. That means a few things: we leave the door open when we s*, we talk about p****, we go on riverboat gambling trips, and we make our own beef jerky. That’s who we are, and now it’s all ruined.” —Dale
“You and your mom are hillbillies. This is a house of educated professionals.” —Derek
“Robert better stay out of my face… ’cause I’ll take that motherf*er down!” —Brennan

“You and your mom are hillbillies. This is a house of educated professionals.” —Derek
“You and your buddies stole my boat and beat me up in your sleep!” —Derek
“I’m about to punch you in the face right now.” —Dale
“You’re not a doctor. You’re just a big, fat, curly-headed f*.” —Brennan
“I’m gonna stuff a pillowcase with bars of soap and knock the s* out of you!” —Brennan
Movie quotes from Step Brothers

“Can we turn our beds into bunk beds?” —Brennan
“You’re adults! You can’t keep fighting like this!” —Nancy
“I’m not gonna say it, but what he’s talking about is a college-level secret.” —Brennan
“You’re embarrassing yourself, you old f*!” —Dale
“You’re not my real brother, and you never will be!” —Brennan

“One time, I wrestled a giraffe to the ground using just my bare hands.” —Dale
“Don’t lose your dinosaur.” —Robert
“Listen, guys, don’t blame Dale for ruining the story. And don’t blame me for ruining it either. Blame yourselves for being such dorks and actually listening to it.” —Brennan
- “I tea-bagged your drum set!” —Brennan
“This might sound strange, but for a second, I swear you turned into a unicorn.” —Dale
Quotes about Step Brothers

“I’d follow you into the mists of Avalon if that’s what you’re asking.” —Dale
“I work as a janitor at a college, even though I’m smarter than everyone there.” —Brennan
“I wasn’t drunk, and I want to make that very clear.” —Brennan
“You have the voice of an angel. It’s like a mix of Fergie and Jesus.” —Dale
“Just so you know, I know karate, and I’m not afraid to use it.” —Brennan

“I’m gonna throw up. It’s really happening.” —Brennan
“I’m not gonna lie, that smells like straight-up gasoline.” —Dale
“I’m just really confused by all of this.” —Robert
“I’m burying you!” —Brennan
“I swear on my life, I will NEVER make another dinosaur joke again.” —Brennan
Best Step Brothers quotes

“It’s Shark Week!” —Dale
“Your voice is like a mix of Fergie and Jesus.” —Dale
“What are you doing? It’s Shark Week!” —Brennan
“Dad, we’re men. That means a few things.” —Dale
“I’m gonna stuff a pillowcase with bars of soap and knock the s* out of you!” —Brennan

“I’ve got a belly full of white dog crap, and now you hit me with this s*?” —Dale
“I think I can help solve the Pan-Pam situation.” —Brennan
“I’m warning you right now—if you touch my drums, I’ll stab you in the neck with a knife!” —Dale
“That’s adorable. I remember my first beer.” —Brennan
“You and your mom are hillbillies! This is a house of educated professionals.” —Derek
Quotes from Step Brothers

“You smell like a perfume counter at a toy store.” —Dale
“This might sound strange, but for a moment, you looked just like a unicorn.” —Dale
“There’s no way I’m passing up Randy Jackson’s autograph!” —Dale
“I’m grabbing a pillowcase, stuffing it with bars of soap, and teaching you a lesson!” —Brennan
“I won’t lie, that totally caught me off guard.” —Robert

“I’m just saying, I might be too old for karate class.” —Brennan
“Can we turn our beds into bunk beds? It’ll free up so much space!” —Dale
“You’re wearing tuxedos to a job interview?” —Interviewer
“I have a platinum record. It’s with an a cappella group—The Greatest Hits of the ’80s.” —Derek
“I’m gonna put my nutsack on your drum set!” —Brennan
Good Step Brothers quotes

“Hey Derek, you know what’s great for shoulder pain? Licking my butthole.” —Brennan
“I don’t believe in belts. Your waist should be free.” —Brennan
“I manage a baseball team. Little League. Fantasy League.” —Dale
“Dale, I’m leaving you my boat in my will. My boat.” —Robert
“We’re getting the band back together!” —Brennan

“This wedding is complete HORSESH*T!” —Brennan
“Oh my God, he’s gonna kill me!” —Brennan
“You don’t even look good when you’re singing!” —Brennan
“You know what’s better than a triceratops? A freaking T-Rex!” —Dale
“You know, I still wake up every morning completely confused.” —Brennan
Great Step Brothers quotes

“Mom! The meatloaf!” —Brennan
“We’re here to mess s*** up.” —Dale
“You’re not a doctor. You’re just a big, fat, curly-headed f*.” —Dale
“I refuse to be related to you!” —Brennan
“I saw my entire life flash before my eyes. It was amazing!” —Brennan

“Dad, why are you acting like such a big fat jerk?” —Dale
“I used to smoke pot with John Hopkins.” —Brennan
“I feel like I’m on crazy pills!” —Nancy
“You guys are still here?” —Robert
“I’m not gonna touch him, but if I do… I’ll probably punch him.” —Brennan
Funny Step Brothers quotes

“I’ve got a better idea. How about I shove you into a locker and leave you there overnight?” —Dale
“You’re just a big, fat, curly-headed f*.” —Brennan
“The only reason you’re still alive is because Dad loved you.” —Brennan
“I don’t wanna be your brother. I don’t even wanna know you.” —Brennan
“You’ve literally done nothing with your life.” —Nancy
Step Brother’s famous quotes

“I used to think my dad was cool. Turns out he’s just a huge nerd.” —Brennan
“I’ve had enough of this bulls*. I’m out of here.” —Brennan
“I was so close to having an awesome brother.” —Dale
“You’re embarrassing me in front of my friends!” —Derek
“I don’t trust people who don’t watch Shark Week.” —Dale

“You wanna go do karate in the garage?” —Brennan
“I’ll kill you, Leonard Nimoy!” —Brennan
“You had me at ‘hello’… then you lost me at ‘goodbye.’” —Dale
“This is just like that time at band camp.” —Brennan
“That was the most fun I’ve ever had in my entire life!” —Dale
Iconic Step Brothers Quotes

“Did we just become best friends?!” —Brennan
“YUP!” —Dale
“Boats and hoes!” —Brennan and Dale
“I’m gonna fill a pillowcase with bars of soap and beat the s out of you!”* —Brennan
“You have the voice of an angel. Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.” —Dale

“I’m not gonna lie, that smells like pure gasoline.” —Dale
“I’m not a doctor, but I know karate.” —Brennan
“It’s Shark Week!” —Dale
“Don’t touch my drum set!” —Dale
“I’m not gonna say it, but what he’s talking about is a college-level secret.” —Brennan
“You’re not my real brother, and you never will be!” —Brennan
“I’m Dale, but you have to call me Nighthawk.” —Dale
“I swear on my life, I will NEVER make another dinosaur joke again.” —Brennan
FAQs: Everything About Step Brothers Quotes
1. What is the most famous quote from Step Brothers?
One of the most well-known quotes is:
“Did we just become best friends?!” – Brennan & Dale
2. What are some funny insults from Step Brothers?
If you love the movie’s brutal sibling roasts, here are some classics:
- “Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.”
- “I’m gonna take a pillowcase and fill it full of bars of soap and beat the s** out of you!”*
3. What’s the funniest scene in Step Brothers?
Some of the most iconic scenes include:
- The Bunk Bed Disaster (“There’s so much room for activities!”)
- The Job Interviews (“I’m gonna be honest with you, I can’t see myself working here.”)
- The Prestige Worldwide Rap (“Boats and Hoes!”)
4. Why is Step Brothers so popular?
The movie’s mix of absurd humor, quotable lines, and over-the-top performances makes it a timeless favorite. Fans love its relatable sibling rivalry and ridiculous comedy!
5. Where can I watch Step Brothers?
You can stream Step Brothers on platforms like Netflix, Hulu, or Amazon Prime, or buy it on Blu-ray and digital stores.
Conclusion: Relive the Comedy Gold!
From Dale and Brennan’s epic fights to their unexpected friendship, Step Brothers remains one of the most quotable comedies of all time. Whether you need a good laugh or a funny comeback, these 110+ Step Brothers quotes will have you rolling with laughter!
Now, go ahead and rewatch Step Brothers—and don’t forget to ask:
“Did we just become best friends?”